52nd Independence Day..

Happy 52nd Independence Day Malaysia!!

• Yes people Merdeka, Merdeka, Merdeka!!

The only PE7 stuck with PE6.. AGAIN!!

Ha brilliant la.. I decided to open Student Portal to check and see if the allocation for Phy practical is out.. And well, yea it is.. And you wanna know's the most awesome news ever? I am the ONLY PE7 in Phy Lab2 with the whole PE6 and a few random PE1.. AGAIN!!! Dear God, WHY do you keep separating me from PE7? Sigh...

I don't ever wanna grow up..

• OK so I did not see myself in MTV but whatever, just being at the concert was more than enough already.. Seeing it on tv brought back memories of one of the best nights ever.. I so wanna relive it again..

• But neway, MTV aside.. I was channel surfing after that, and I came across Peter Pan 2 : Return to Neverland.. And so I just watched cuz I was bored.. And I remembered the times when I watched the first Peter Pan all the time..

• I always wanted to be Peter Pan's best friend.. I mean, I even wished I could be in Neverland.. All I would do is just fly and play everyday, and hang out with Peter Pan.. That was all while I was maybe around 7 or 8.. But definitely not older den that.. Somewhere along the way, I changed.. I wanted to grow up.. I wanted to be a teenager, I wanted to see the world..

• But just now as I was watching Jane and Peter, I truly felt like crying.. I just wish that it would all stop.. That time would freeze over and I'll never grow up.. I wanna be at that age where all I wanted to do was fly and have fun, without a single care in the world..

• I've always thought that I'm happy with myself, with who I am.. And honestly I do.. But I can't deny that I hate the fact that I've lost a part of me.. I've lost the part that wanted all things simple.. The part that would always dream of fairytales just because they were happy.. In conclusion, I miss the young me..

• The 7 year old Amanda who fell down all the time while running around, and cried when she scrapped her knee.. But who was never afraid to stand up again and run, just cuz the fun of it all made the fall worth it.. I miss her.. The chubby girl I see in the pictures who smiled like she had no worries in the world..

• Now when I look in the mirror, I see a girl who fears so much, who worries about so many things.. A girl who's known for her laughter and her smile, but yet hides so much the world cannot see.. A girl who is scared of each fall, cuz she doesn't wanna scrape her knee and feel the pain..

• The girl in the mirror needs to learn from that 7 year old.. Amanda needs to look in the mirror and see a 7 year old Amanda, and not her own reflection..

• The girl in the mirror needs to stop fearing, and instead, learn how to dance in the rain.. Like the 7 year old, don't ever complain because the rain is coming... Go ahead and say,

"Who cares if I'm wet? Bring on the thunder.."

Today's line.. 28th July 2009..

The Line for today..

• Maths teacher : Class, why are you all in such a party mood?
• HongLiang : Because it'a Friday!

• Hell yea it's a Friday!!

Boredom again..

• The only reason why I'd ever blog from the library is because I'm bored, I have nth to do, and I'm procrastinating from studying and doing my homework.. Like now for example.. My poor Phy practical book is sitting there on the table just waiting for me to open it and fill it with more nonsensical rubbish, but I'd much rather be on the computer typing amazing crap.. *Sorry book, dun cry.. *

• It's gonna be a sad weekend which I am going to fill with studying, hopefully.. Because if I don't, I'm gonna fail my trials next week.. Not that it's that big of a deal, but I dun wan that to happen la.. Ok who am I kidding, it is a big deal.. =.= But damn la, SCREW YOU EXAMS!!!! Because of you, I cannot go out, I cannot have fun, I cannot go crazy, I cannot dance in the rain, I cannot fall sick.. Because I have you to worry about.. I say we abolish exams once and for all because papers are constantly wasted producing those exam papers, thus causing excessive deforestation, ridding plants and animals of their habitats, not to mention constantly depleting our very own oxygen supply.. So yea, no more exams!!

• And now there is exactly 12 minutes before my Maths class.. Of which I will spend trying to do the trials paper.. Which I probably won't be able to, thus causing me to feel extremely frustrated with myself.. And that will further cause me to be emotional, where I'll go home and feel like crying.. Which will cause a horrendous headache, and I'll have to sleep for hours to get the headache away.. Which causes me to waste time.. You see how potentially damaging doing Maths can be?? LOL..

• But on a brighter side, tonight at 9pm on channel 713 Astro, MTV WORLD STAGE baby!!! haha.. let's see if I'll see my face!! =)

stressed+stomach ache=not good..

• Goshhh, I'm sitting here typing this while I'm having a stomach ache.. Hate it when the stomach aches come.. They hardly do, but when they do, it's lk ARRRGHHHHH!!! It makes everything much more difficult la.. The pain from the stomach seems to spread to my brains and I just can't seem to function properly.. It does not help the fact that I already feel so stupid.. I dunno la, I keep convincing myself that it's just trials and I can afford to screw it.. but I know it's just self-defence mechanism.. My heart and head is not buying it.. So yea, I'm EXTREMELY affected by the fact that I seem very much stupider and I dun know a lot of things..

• Just now I was doing Maths and honestly, things just dun come as easily anymore.. It took me so long just to figure out how to do 1 question, let alone to finish the whole paper.. Things were never like that.. Pure Maths1 is supposed to be like Add Maths.. You tell me what's my problem la.. Can I be getting stupider?? Sighhh.. And then Phy.. I took a look at my revision workshop paper for tmr, and you know what? I hardly know a single thing.. And I can't even do my practical properly.. Miss Ng I NEED you!!! How on planet earth am I gonna live through my trials? How am I gonna explain my incompetence to my mom and dad huh?

And more importantly, will I be emotionally ready when I end up disappointing myself?

• I dun remember things ever being this difficult and maybe, I was taking it all for granted, so now I'm being taught a lesson.. Maybe I deserve this, so I'd learn.. I just feel so broken down right now, I dun even know what to do anymore.. There's no one to rely on, no one who'll guide me when I'm wrong.. It's not the same as when I was 17... Turning 18 gave life a whole new perspective and maybe I'm not putting in enough effort to make it work.. And tonight, I think I'm just going to go lie on my bed, cry because I can't do anything else, then sleep..

Love is in the Air..

Just a short update for now.. Today I found out about 2 interesting revelations.. And yes I know ystd I just had an interesting revelation, today another 2.. Life is just so full of surprises and revelations.. Although today's news not exactly surprising la, cuz it was more or less just a matter of time.. LOL.. I dunno if I'm allowed to disclose the story on such a public medium lk my blog, so I'll be subtle bout it la k.. Just to keep everything short and sweet, basically the love bug is going round.. =) So to you all(you know who you are), congratulations!!! And guys, make sure you jaga the girls properly ahhh!! Cuz girls need to be taken care of wan.. hahaha.. =)

OMG mother mary.. =)

• HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I just found out bout sumthing that's so interesting.. not to mention funny.. Ok dun be so mean la it's not funny.. But really, made my whole night all so interesting.. What a revelation..

• P/s: My dearest darling if you read this, I'm trying very hard not to say "I told you so.. " LOL.. Cuz seriously, I did tell u.. LOL.. But u kinda din listen, and told me it's nothing.. Now, masalah la.. But dun worry, you're very lucky you have me.. we'll deal with this.. haha..

mind map done!!

Wheee!! Finally after a whole day of continuous writing, finding, cutting and pasting, my Chem mind map is finally done!! But I must admit it looks a bit kindergarden-ish.. Cuz I used too many colours and it's like a splash of it all of my manila card.. LOL.. But who cares, I like colours and I love the fact that my mindmap is colourful and pretty, with a tinge of childish-ness.. Unlike some plain one, which I probably wont wanna look at.. Haha.. It's time I injected a bit of colour into my life, since all I deal with everyday is white paper and black and blue ink.. So as of now, say YES to colours!!

I am a spazzhead..

• U know sometimes, I really wonder what's wrong with me.. Am I really as forgetful and as careless as deem to be? Or is it just cuz I'm not focused enough on what I have to do? I woke up this morning so eager to start on my Organic Chem Mindmap.. Had all my manila card, colour papers and pens ready.. Only to find that the most important thing is not here.. Cuz spazheads like me left it in Myplace, Subang.. Guess what is not here? If you said my notes, then BINGO, you're a genius!! Cuz yes, this idiot of a spazhead here successfully managed to leave her ENTIRE file and stack of notes in Subang..

• So yes, work has to be done the hard way now.. I have to research every single reaction from the internet.. Even then, I can't put it straight onto my manila card also.. I'm resorting to wrting everything in pieces of paper and finally will compile everything and slowly stick.. Sighhh.. So tedious, but what to do.. Consequences have to be dealt with when your brains decided to fail you and make you a total spazhead..

New dress!!!

• Happy!!!! Or at least I was.. haha.. Ok still am la.. mommy brought me shopping today!! After she picked me from apartment we went Sunway.. She seemed to be in a good mood la.. Bought me a new bracelet.. Lol.. Butterflies one.. And bought Amelia new t-shirt, new bracelet,new bag, new gibbitz for her crocs.. And Greg got new wallet and new bag also.. She almost got a pair of shoes from Charles and Keith for her and me to share, but sadly they din have it in the colour she wanted..

• And for the happiest moment of my day, she bought me a new dress from Eclipse!!! *smiles* It's one-shouldered (I've been looking for one-shouldered dresses), and it's a super pretty colour of turquoise-ish emerald.. Gonna wear it for Adrain And Oi Leng's wedding.. I'll be so outta theme colour cuz the theme is pinkish purple, but whatever la.. hehe..

• P/s: Shopping does wonders to a girl's emotions!! Guys you might wanna take note of this.. =)

A Complete Waste of My Time..

So far, today has been such a waste of time.. Class ended at 11 can u imagine that?? haha.. Not complaining but really if I knew, I would hv just skipped and slept longer la.. Cuz Maths class cancelled, Phy oso cuz teacher MC.. SO yea, oni had 2 hours of class today.. Very amused because Chew Ling and I caused a whole chain reaction ystd.. Our pm on msn "Sure got something" led a lot of people to think we were talking bout something that we were not.. To the extend of got one smart fella go copy and put as his pm.. haha.. without knowing head or tail.. And another wan go ques me cuz tot CL and I talking bout him.. LOL.. I din know pm on msn can make such a great impact.. Should do this more often, quite fun..

Chem practical..

• Just finish practical and got back to the apartment.. Today was eventful.. haha.. Ok maybe eventful is not the right word, I dun even know what word to use to be honest.. Let's just say that today was today la..

• At approximately 7.50, Esther and Vee Yong arrived at my apartment, and Chew Ling, Lee Shan and I were still sleeping.. Haha.. Then Lee Shan went back, Chew Ling went bathe and I dragged my lazy ass off the bed to bathe as well.. While I was bathing, Xin Yi and Deva arrived as well.. Can u imagine the state of my apartment.. It's like our gathering spot.. Lol..

• Then we went for breakfast at Oldtown.. Ate till damn full, cuz scared hungry during practical.. Lol.. But I think I wasn't used to eating early morning, I got damn full after having a bowl of hor fun.. So yea, added to the nervous-ness and all.. I truly felt like vomiting.. Which led Xin Yi to ask if I was pregnant.. And I jokingly said yes.. She ask how many months and I said 2, who's da dad, I dunno cuz it could be anyone.. LOL.. Den Alex and Sai Cheong overheard and they started kacauing la.. Haha..

• So anyway, when we finally made it into MPH, we all just sat and "studied" la.. Ended up talking and laughing, and I found out that Meng Meng is ticklish.. Haha.. I now know his weakness.. Then I tell u ah, halfway through quarantine, Deve and I needed to go to the bathroom, and when we go ask, they were like "No, NO.. U cant go now ok, No!!" Wat the crap la, we had to wait till quarantine finish oni can go.. My bladder felt like it was going to burst k..

• Neway, went we got to the lab, I found out I was sitting right in front alone.. Cuz Charmaine switched to July intake and ditched me.. haha.. But neway, very scary la practizal.. At first, my hands were shaking.. Literally.. But I did what I had to la and the most amazing thing is that I finished the practical in an hour.. This has never happened before, I usually dun have enough time.. So yea, I got pretty worried thinking that I forgot to do something and all..

• So since I had extra time, I did QA like so many times, just to be sure.. But I damn lazy wanna do titration again cuz I tot I had it pretty accurate edi.. But damn tension la cuz I see Chester keep doing and doing.. haha.. I hope I did my calculations and all correctly la now.. All my QA ions same like Joanne except for 1.. Haih whatever la it's over it's over.. Im just happy it was not as bad as expected..

• And now, I am gonna take a break from everything and just relax la.. Damn hungry now, haven eat lunch.. Feel like hanging out, but got no1 to hang out with.. sighhh.. kesian aku.. LOL..

Prank tak jadi..

2nd post for today.. Still waiting for Chew Ling to come to my place, so I can't bathe first.. And just as I type this, she comes.. =.= nvm nvm.. Shall complete this post first.. It's still early.. haha.. So yea.. I just suddenly thought of blogging bout my failed msg prank.. Or at least, I think it failed.. Ystd at 12 plus I think, I msg this one clown to prank that person la.. Wait till almost 1 takde reply.. So I thought give the person the benefit of the doubt la, maybe sleep edi.. But today I go see that person's blog, the person still can comment lk at damn late.. So hmm.. I tot maybe I din send out.. Just now I tried again.. Till now still no reply.. Ishhhh no fun man wen pranks tak jadi.. It's either that person really doesn't reply to unknown numbers or I saved the wrong number.. If it's da 2nd reason, it's damn =.= cuz I waste credit for nothing.. If it's da first reason, den find other means of kacauing.. Or forget it la.. Find someone else to prank.. hahahaha.. If that person reads this, I wonder if that person will know I'm talking bout that person not.. LOL..

Why must my name start with an A??

Blogging from college library.. Bored shit outta my mind while waiting for Thinking Skills class.. And really, I just feel a need to complain.. I've always liked my name.. Love it in fact.. But I cannot deny the fact that having a name that starts with the letter A usually works to my disadvantage.. Like for example today, I went and check the board for our shifts and Labs for tomorrow's practical.. And guess what.. I am the ONLY Pe7 who will be in Chem Lab1.. Together with ALL the PE6.. While all the other PE7 will be in Lab2.. ARGHHHH!! I mean yea sure, PE6 are my classmates also, but why do I have to be separated out from all the PE7 huh?? Damn tension now thinking bout tomorrow..

Chemistry and movie..

• And the days just keep rolling by.. It’s already the 18^th of August.. That makes it exactly 4 months, 3 weeks and 5 days since I first stepped into Taylors as a Cambridge A levels student.. My oh my, how does time fly by.. It seems like it was just yesterday.. But no, obviously it’s not.. In fact, my AS Chemistry practical trial is on Thurs.. =) God knows what’s gonna happen during the practical, I just hope I know what to do, have enough time and can do and finish doing the write-up..

• Today, I got back my Organic chem. Test results.. Not as bad as expected la.. Honestly I was pretty shocked in a good way bout my marks.. Cuz I know I barely put in any effort for it, it was very last minute, due to procrastination and MTV World Stage.. hahaha.. But still, very satisfied with the marks.. And to think that I kept complaining that I was gonna fail.. phewwww… good thing I did not.. *smiles*

• Besides that, also went for movie today with Esther, Chew Ling and Joanne.. We decided to watch Taking of Pelham 123.. Pretty good movie.. I actually really liked the story line.. Felt that it was somewhat twisted up and not in anyway clichéd.. But I have to admit that you do need to fill in some blanks here and there on your own.. And it was interesting watching John Trovolta acting as the bad guy.. I keep remembering him from Hairspray and Wildhogs.. So this was a good change in movie genre for him, I guess..

• Another thing.. I feel like I achieved something great today.. I know some of you’ll probably laugh when I say this but whatever, I’m proud of it.. LOL.. Today I actually managed to sit through the entire movie without drinks or popcorn!! Now before you think it was cuz I had no time to buy, or the line was long, let me tell you that it’s none of those reasons.. It was simply cuz I decided not to.. All the rest had some sort of food and drinks, except me.. So yes, I am very proud of my accomplishment cuz I’ve always said that a movie is not a movie unless I have popcorn and drinks.. And today I broke that trend!! Haha..

Jealous chick with a mission..

This chick has seen some stuff that's making her super jealous.. And because of that, this chick has a new mission and a new vow.. As of now, this chick is super determined to attain success in this mission.. No doubt it'll require a lot of practise, going through ups and downs, and even feeling a little bit of pain and hurt for a while.. But hopefully in the end, it'll all be worth it.. And what might you ask, is this chick so jealous and determined about? Well, it is really very simple..

• I saw pictures on people's blogs from MTV World Stage Live.. And their pictures are bloody awesome.. And so, this chick is going to

learn how to do photography properly and is going to pick up photoshop as well!!!

Maths..

My dear Maths teacher inspired me to blog now.. Today I sat and actually properly heard what she says, and i realise she can be quite random.. And the things she says sometimes are just plain amusing in the =.= way.. I can't exactly recall everything she said, but I have a few la.. Should have just recorded her, it sounds better hearing it live.. =)

• Random mutterings No1..

You know class, Maths has got a lot to do with feelings.. When you can do Maths, your body releases endorphins.. So you must like to do Maths, how can you enjoy something you don't like to do right? When you get a straight line, you'll be very happy.. Cuz you know you're correct edi..

(As if I got nothing better to be happy about.. And I can't exactly like something if I'm MADE to do it right?)

• Random mutterings No2..

Class, you all like to laugh ahh.. Always laugh wan.. You know I just found out something ystd.. There's this thing called Laughter Yoga.. You know how it works or not? You laugh while doing something that you're scared of.. So like if you're scared of heights, you just make yourself laugh while you're high up..

(First thing's first.. How am I supposed to induce laughter if I'm scared shit outta my mind?)

• Random mutterings No3..

Class, if you're sick, PLEASE don't come to college... If you wake up in the morning and you got a sorethroat, don't come.. If you come later become worse and you get a fever.. Anybody here sick or not? I very scared already, bout falling sick and all..

(I proceeded to say "Teacher you should laugh if you're scared.." in accordance to the Laughter Yoga thing she was talking about.. And she gave me the "not funny" look.. Like what the crap, she started it right?)

So yea, do you see what I mean? LOL.. A tribute to her for giving me something to blog about, rather than random blabberings as usual.. haha..

MTV World Stage 2

• As I mentioned earlier, it was so freaking AWESOME!!! The BEST concert I have ever attended.. I'm supposed to be studying Organic Chem now, but I shall take half an hour to blog bout the BIGGEST concert to ever hit Malaysia's shore.. And anyway, Organic Chem is boring, blogging beats it a million times..

• Firstly, it was pure miracle that I even made it to the event.. Flora helped me get tickets at 10.45 ystd morning.. Haha.. So got 2 passes for Phoeb and me.. Then nvm.. When we went there, they had lucky draw.. And guess what, yours truly won a PSP!! Haha.. And then, it rained.. But the rain worked to our advantage cuz it helped Flora and Nigel sneak Phoeb and me into Mosh Pit!! Imagine how ecstatic Phoeb and I were.. =)

• The three acts that I went to see were awesome.. Let's give it to you a little by a little.. I'll start with Boys Like Girls.. HOT HOT Martin and Paul.. ahhhh.. LOL.. They sang Love Drunk, Hero/Heroine, Thunder and The Great Escape.. At the end of The Great Escape, Martin(the lead singeer) proceeded to climb those supporting metals at the side of the stage.. haha.. here are a few pictures.. ( I apologise for the low quality images.. all from phone la..)

• Paul, the guitarist..

• Martin the lead singer..

• After that, we had Raygun on stage.. I've never heard of the band prior to this event, but you know what? They're good.. Plus they're British, so not bad looking.. haha.. Go check out their song, Just Because.. Very addictive..

• Raygun's bassist..

• Raygun's lead singer

• Raygun doing their thing on stage!

• Ok.. After that came Pixie Lott.. pretty girl who's only 18.. And damn she can sing pretty well.. Songs are not bad, especially her new single Boys and Girls and Mama Do.. (Sorry no nice pictures of Pixie Lott)

• Following right after Pixie Lott was Hoobastank.. Now this band is really good.. Their lead singer, Doug Robb, has the best voice among all the lead vocalists of all the bands yesterday, in my opinion.. Their live rendition of Crawling in the Dark left me breathless and outta words.. It was so good, I was just jumping up and down while banging my head and screaming!! LOL..

• Hoobastank lead guitarist, Dan..

• Hoobastank lead vocalist, Doug Robb..

• Then after that, came 1 of the most anticipated bands of the night, The All American Rejects.. Took the stagehand people quite a while to set up for them, because they had bigger equipments and all.. So we had to wait quite a while.. But it was definitely worth it.. They had good stage presense, especially lead singer Tyson, who is very dramatic and theatrical.. haha..

• AAR Guitarist, Mike..

• Another AAR Guitarist, Nick..

• Lead singer of AAR, Tyson..

• Check out the awesome guitar Nick's using..

• AAR singing It Ends Tonight.. (I love the blue lights)

• Tyson also climbed the metal thingy.. He, almost dropped his microphone..

• After that it was Kasabian's turn to take the stage.. Unfortunately, we decided not to stay for their performance due to hunger, thirst and heat.. But a lot of people left after AAR anyway.. Anyway, a few more random pictures of the event.. =)

• The stage..

• OMG it's raining!!!

• Flora, Phoeb and me..

• MTV VJs..

• On the way out..

• Random pic in the toilet..

• Girls in black!

• After that we went Station1 for a very very late dinner.. So I guess I better call it supper.. haha.. More random pictures..

• Emo la you Phoeb!! WHY???

• Hungry Flora.. LOL.. "I want food!!"

• My Red Zone pass.. Though I went Mosh Pit.. haha..

• So I guess that concludes my post on MTV World Stage Live.. And I took and an hour to finish it, instead of half an hour.. sighhh.. Ohh and before I forget, the world is really small wei.. Nigel used to be from the same tuition centre as Phoeb, Lis and me.. haha.. And I even went out with my friends and he was also there.. And now meet him again.. small world man.. Ok, I'm signing off for real la now.. but before I go, AHHHHHH!!! Yesterday was freaking AWESOME!!!

• p/s : blogger doesn't allow me to put this pic up I dunno why.. And I cant even delete it.. the crap la.. so yea.. it shall be down here then.. I end my post with Nigel's emo-blur face.. hahaha..

MTV World Stage

MTV WORLD STAGE WAS the BOMB!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!! It was freaking awesome!!!! Blog soon!!! WAAAAAA!!!!

Weekend all alone..

Once again, the title says it all.. I'm gonna be all alone this weekend.. Parents and siblings are all going to Lumut for some company trip of dad's.. And yours truly is going to be at home because Chem test is on Mon.. And Chem practical trial is on Thurs.. Now isn't that awesome? *says it with complete sarcasm* It's so sad u know.. I really think the world likes to yank everything away from you right at the point when you need it all the most.. I tot since parents all not around this weel, can lk maybe depend on "family" and hang out.. but unfortunately, everyone decided to be not around on this weekend as well!! Flora is off to MTV World Stage Live tomorrow, Freddie is back in hometown.. Sigh.. So I got no one.. Again.. As usual.. It's like my routine in life already..

The 12am scenario..

• Yes.. the title says it all.. I'm gonna be blogging about the current scene around me now.. It's exactly 12.15 am, all my housemates are asleep, and I'm sitting on a cream coloured sofa in the living room of our unit.. All I hear is the fan going round and round, and the soft music coming from my laptop.. And why, you may ask, am I telling you this? To be perfectly honest, I myself do not know! *laughs*

• I'm supposed to be completing my Maths work, but really, I dun get more than 3/4 of the work.. And if I dun get it, you cant exactly blame me for not completing it right? haha.. As for my Physics, even bigger sigh.. Everyday, day in, day out, all that I do is copy whatever that's on the board blindly while Mr. Vara goes on and on about what seems like complete and total nonsensical facts to me.. I desperately NEED a tutor at this point, but I dunno who to ask.. another sigh...

• I should probably get to sleep now, but there's just this tiny little issue.. I slet this evening from 4 to 8.30.. haha.. No, it was not intentional, I actually set an alarm at 6.30.. But because Pheob wasn't in, I slept right back and the next thing I know, Phoeb's back and asking me to get up.. I swear if she did not wake me up, I would have just slept all the way till next morning.. It was really a dead type of sleep, I had no dream, nothing whatsoever.. Just dead, blank, complete sleep.. shows how tired I really am..

• Ok this post is really a waste of space, it's just words and more words.. But oh well, I quote Jason Mraz from the song "You and I".. LOL.. And speaking of that song, I've been addicted to it recently.. I know it's old and all, but suddenly, my love for it returned.. Another addiction currently is Don't Forget by Demi Lovato.. I dunno if you realise it, but it's actually a very sad song.. I think I'll end this post with the last chorus from Don't Forget..

Somewhere we went wrong, our love is like a song.. But you won't sing along.. You've forgotten about us..

DAMN!!!

Stupid, idiot, DAMNIT bloody previous post!!!! ARGHHHHHH!!!! It freaking made me ..................... the un-say-able "E" word...

Alone, alone, alone...

• It's been a week already.. Time just zooms by when I'm having fun, and at the same time trying to survive A-levels.. But the weird thing is, it feels like I've been doing a lot.. But when I sit and recall, I really don't know what happened to my entire week.. It's like as if it just disappeared from right in front of my eyes.. Weird week really.. or more specifically, it was one weird day in the week.. I haven felt the way I did that day in so long..

• It all started off with me completing my Chem practical.. I dunno why I finish my work so early that day la.. Ok, early by my standards at least.. Phoeb decided to sleep early also.. So I had no one to bug also.. And so, for the first time in forever, I headed to bed before my room mate.. On any normal day, I don't think that would have been a problem.. The issue was, before I went to bed, I was listening to emo songs.. And the minute I hit my bed, I played this song on my phone and u know what, bad bad move..

• And so, the tears came streaming down my face like a burst dam.. Haven felt that way in so long.. It got to a point where I couldn't control it.. It seemed that the tears had a mind of their own and they decided they did not wanna stay inside anymore.. you know what was the worse thing that night? I had no one.. And I'm perfectly serious.. I have so many friends, so many people I can talk to.. But that night, no one.. At all.. That really made it all worse, and it hurt.. It really did.. At one point, it felt like I was choking.. Breathing had to be done in short, shallow breaths..

• The pain from recalling the incident hurt.. But the fact that I had no one made the hurt even worse.. Because on that night, I ultimately realised.. As much as people listen to me and try to make me feel better, they'll never understand how I feel.. Cuz they're not going through it, as I am.. And it was then that it truly dawned upon me, that I was alone.. I'm all alone in the battle, and no one can help me with it, and I don't know how long it's going to take me to win the battle..

Me..

~Although you are very careful with money, you often spend your money on unnecessary things~

• Found this somewhere in a personality quiz I did.. It sure explains the 3 new tops I bought on Wednesday.. when what I really need now, is a purse..