- Goshhh, I'm sitting here typing this while I'm having a stomach ache.. Hate it when the stomach aches come.. They hardly do, but when they do, it's lk ARRRGHHHHH!!! It makes everything much more difficult la.. The pain from the stomach seems to spread to my brains and I just can't seem to function properly.. It does not help the fact that I already feel so stupid.. I dunno la, I keep convincing myself that it's just trials and I can afford to screw it.. but I know it's just self-defence mechanism.. My heart and head is not buying it.. So yea, I'm EXTREMELY affected by the fact that I seem very much stupider and I dun know a lot of things..
- Just now I was doing Maths and honestly, things just dun come as easily anymore.. It took me so long just to figure out how to do 1 question, let alone to finish the whole paper.. Things were never like that.. Pure Maths1 is supposed to be like Add Maths.. You tell me what's my problem la.. Can I be getting stupider?? Sighhh.. And then Phy.. I took a look at my revision workshop paper for tmr, and you know what? I hardly know a single thing.. And I can't even do my practical properly.. Miss Ng I NEED you!!! How on planet earth am I gonna live through my trials? How am I gonna explain my incompetence to my mom and dad huh?
And more importantly, will I be emotionally ready when I end up disappointing myself?
- I dun remember things ever being this difficult and maybe, I was taking it all for granted, so now I'm being taught a lesson.. Maybe I deserve this, so I'd learn.. I just feel so broken down right now, I dun even know what to do anymore.. There's no one to rely on, no one who'll guide me when I'm wrong.. It's not the same as when I was 17... Turning 18 gave life a whole new perspective and maybe I'm not putting in enough effort to make it work.. And tonight, I think I'm just going to go lie on my bed, cry because I can't do anything else, then sleep..
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