freaking jpa sadness..

That's it man, this is my emo post edi.. Finally after SO long of not emoing I knew it was too good to be true.. The last time I cried was wen I got my SPM results and NOW, I'm crying again after like 2 months, cuz I din get JPA.. I know I said I'll leave it to God and all.. But seriously la, y?? How is NOT getting JPA a good thing?? Do u really think my parents got ALL the money to blow on my studies to send me overseas?? And seriously, tell me where did I go wrong?? I din get enough As izzit now for SPM?? Should I have taken up like maybe 15 subjects den?? Or was I not active enough now?? MAYBE should hv participated in MORE koko activities.. Spend my WHOLE day in sch.. 24/7, 7 days a week!! Or was my interview not good enough?? Hmm let's see.. I fully recall the interviewer praising me like 3 times in the freaking room with the other candidates.. Not good enough?? Should have spoken more, stood out more?? ARRGHHHHH!! Tell me WHAT exactly did I not do or did wrong?? I dunno la k,, I hear so MANY ppl getting.. And it's not to say my results are worse den theirs.. Or I not as active as them in sch.. SO tell me wat's wrong?? Family sosioeconomy status ah?? Hello, Im not dat well-off k.. Gosh Im just so freaking emo n pissed off i dunno wat to say la.. Freaking freaking unfair..