funny stuff

I stole this from Chris’s blog.. Seems really funny la.. Try it.. especially if you're bored like me.. haha.. Here's how you do it:

• Dear (someone you recently talked to),I don't really know how to tell you this,(1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning your (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11). (12),Name

• (1) What's the color of your shirt?

1. Blue - I'm in love with your cat
2. Red - Our affair is over
3. White - I’m joining the Convent
4. Black -Our romance is over
5. Green- Our socks don't match
6. Grey - You're a leprechaun
7. Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
8. Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
9. Brown - The mafia wants you
10. No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
11. Other -I dislike your eyelashes

• (2) Which is your birth month?

1. January - That night you picked your nose
2. February -When I quoted Forrest Gump
3. March - When your dwarf bit me
4. April - When I tripped on peanut butter
5. May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
6. June - When you put cuffs on me
7. July – When I saw the purple monkey
8. August - When you smacked my ass
9. September - Last year when you peed your pants
10. October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
11. November - When your dog humped my leg
12. December - When I finally changed my underwear

• (3) Which food do you prefer?

1. Tacos - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
2. Chicken- In your car
3. Pasta - Outside of your office
4. Hamburgers - Under the bus
5. Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
6. Lasagna - In your closet
7. Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
8. Fish - In a clown suit
9. Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
10. Pizza - At the mental hospital
11. Hot dog - Under a street light
12. Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

• (4) What's the color of your socks?

1. Yellow - Ignore
2. Red - Put whipped cream on
3. Black - Hit on
4. Blue - Knock out
5. Purple - Pour syrup on
6. White - Carve your initials into
7. Grey - Pull the clothes off
8. Brown - bit of
9. Orange - Castrate
10. Pink - Pull the pants off of
11. Barefoot - Sit on
12. Other - Drive over

• (5) What's the color of your underwear?

1. Black - My boyfriend
2. White - My father
3. Grey – The Catholic Priest
4. Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
5. Purple - My corned beef hash
6. Red – My knee caps
7. Blue - My salt-beef bucket
8. Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
9. Orange - My Blink 182 cd
10. Pink – My ‘My Little Pony’ collection
11. Other --The elephant in the corner

• (6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?

1. One Tree Hill - Senile
2. Heroes- Frostbitten
3. Lost - High
4. Simpsons- Cowardly
5. The news - Scarred
6. American Idol - Masochistic
7. Family Guy - OpenTop Model -
8. BitchyAnnat -shamed

• (7) Your mood right now?

1. Happy - How awful you are
2. Sad - How boring you are
3. Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
4. Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
5. Depressed – That we’re related
6. Excited - That I may pee my pants
7. Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
8. Worried - That your Ford sucks
9. Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
10. Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
11. Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
12. Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
13. Other - That your driving sucks

• (8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?

1. White - Your toe ring
2. Yellow - Your love letters to me
3. Red - The pictures from Vegas
4. Black - Your pet rock
5. Blue - The couch cushions
6. Green - Your car
7. Orange - Your false teeth
8. Brown - Your nose hair clippers
9. Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
10. Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
11. Pink - The cut toenails
12. Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

• (9) The first letter of your first name?

1. A/B - My virginity
2. C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
3. E/F - Your neighbors dog
4. G/H - The oil tank from your car
5. I/J - Your left ear
6. K/L - The results of that blood-sample
7. M/N - Your glass eye
8. O/P - My common sense
9. Q/R - Your mom
10. S/T - Your collection of butterflies
11. U/V - Your criminal record
12. W/X – Your suicide note
13. Y/Z - Your credit cards

• (10) The last letter in your last name?

1. A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
2. C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
3. E/F -Never will forget that night
4. G/H – Will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard.
5. I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
6. K/L - Hate your cooking
7. M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
8. O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
9. Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
10. S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
11. U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
12. W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
13. Y/Z – am better off without you

• (11) What do you prefer to drink?

1. Wine- Our friendship is ruined
2. Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
3. Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
4. Milk - The apartment building is on fire
5. Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
6. Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
7. Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
8. Mineral/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
9. Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
10. Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
11. Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
12. Other – you should stop picking your nose

• (12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?

1. Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
2. Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
3. France - Love always
4. Spain - With tears of sadness
5. China – You make me sick
6. Germany – Please don’t hurt me
7. Japan - Go milk a cow
8. Greece - Your everlasting enemy
9. USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
10. Egypt – Kiss my butt
11. England - Go drown yourself.

• So here goes mine la.. Hehehe..

• Dear Kim, I don't really know how to tell you this, I'm selling myself for candy. I think I realised it that night you picked your nose outside of your office and I saw you sit on the elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're masochistic enough to understand that I get turned on only by garbage men. I'm returning your old New Kids on the Block blanket to you, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory. You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and your cucumber-fetishism is weird. Love always, Manda..